From the beginning of the novel, I really didn’t like Bill Gray’s character. If I had to pinpoint one particular reason for my dislike it would be because I found him not just to be afraid, but living in fear, which in turn had him not really living at all.
By being afraid, I mean to say that his character seemed cowardly to hide his identity as a novelist from the world, even though terrorist acts were occurring at the time. But it seemed to me that he didn’t stand up for what he believed in, writing, and fear played a role in him being able to finish his book/publish it.
I think that by the end of the novel, I wanted to change my insight of Bill, but I still saw him as a coward. I thought that throughout the novel, he seemed to progress out of his fear, little by little, first by going to New York to have his picture taken, and then going to London to give a reading for a poet held captive by terrorists. This was a transformation in my eyes, initiating a response to the terrorist acts against writers.
But then when Bill is traveling and encounters the British vets, he denies his true identity as a writer once again saying: “No, no, I’m not that kind of a writer,” in response to the men’s skeptical question of whether they would know of him. Even while on a mission to give a reading about a trapped poet, he is still fearful of anyone knowing who he is.
In his final scene, Bill is still en route to get to get to the poet in Beirut, hoping that his novel will mean something to someone; his finally finished novel. As he is traveling on the ferry to get to Beirut, he asks for advice on how to get about once he’s there. The clerk told him to tell the man from the Lebanese Forces that he was a writer, and Bill responded “Okay, I’m a writer” (214). Whether he was just saying this in confirmation to what the man was telling him, or it was his way of finally affirming who he was, was unclear to me. Bill goes on to state that “it was writing that made his life disappear” (215). Once again, I wasn’t sure if he was referring to himself, or the boy imprisoned, or perhaps both. Writing had made them turn to a life of hiding, but I saw the trapped poet as stronger and fearless compared to Bill.
Bill spent his whole life pretending that he wasn’t a writer, afraid to publish another novel, afraid to show face, afraid to tell people that he was a writer, and at that, one that they may know. He died on the ferry and never got to get to the boy held captive, which I still saw as another expression of fear; like death gave him the easy way out. Because now he no longer had to run, and only his identity would be sold to a militia in Beirut.
On a literal level, I think this ending of Bill’s character was the death to his book, the death to his fear, and the death of some hope for other writers. Thus, I felt that it evoked a sense of incompleteness, a lost identity, a cowardly disposition, and gave the presumption that fear is too great for some people.
I thought it was interesting how you didn’t know who was being referred to in the quote “it was writing that made his life disappear.” Which makes sense because the use of pronouns in this novel makes things complicated. When I read that line, I had just thought Bill was referring to himself, but now I could see how it could also be referencing to Jean-Claude. Jean Claude is imprisoned and dies because of his writing. Or maybe with Bill writing about this captive, Jean-Claude becomes a fictional character, and his real life disappears.
When Bill said “Okay, I’m a writer” it seemed to me that he was skeptical about being a writer – like he almost he didn’t believe it. He needed for someone else to confirm to him that he is a writer which as you had said suggests that he was afraid to admit that he was a writer to himself. In general, I agree with you that Bill is a coward because he was the man that couldn’t talk to Brita over the phone himself. Instead he had to talk to her via her voice mail. This is another example of his insecurity and fear. Also, in the way that he describes his book shows how much of a coward he is. He should take pride in his work rather than describe it as something horrible. He should own up to his talents. He also has this sexual relationship with Karen that he keeps hidden from Scott. He is even a coward when it comes to that. In the end, I think you’ve brought up a good point. Bill is in fact a coward when it all comes down to it.